Behind This Mask
by KuroitsukiNoMai
Summary: What pain lurks behind that happy mask? What horrors are covered by those foxy grins and those bright blue eyes? a songfic featuring Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan


Behind This Mask

Naruto raised his head and admired the beatiful stars in the night sky. The small, twinkling stars, like little pinpricks of light in a dark plain. The endless night sky stretched before him. He smiled sadly. It was such a beautiful sight, such a peaceful moment. He wished that it could go on forever. But it couldn't.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down_

_Do you ever feel out of place?_

He sat down on the grassy hill and slowly pulled out a small diary. He recorded all of his feelings in this small notebook. Such a small thing.. but it held so much importance. All his pain, all his sorrow, all held in this small pad.

_Like somehow you just don't belong, _

_And no one understands you_

He slowly opened his pad and read his first entry.

_**8 years old**_

** _Today the villagers weren't that bad. They only threw a few daggers at me. There glares held just as much hatred, butI supppose that after they got punished for beating me last night, they are too afraid to do anything except a few small things to me. I'm glad. I still have the bruises and cuts from last night.. I don't think that I would've been able to run away in time, or take a beating. _**

_Do you ever wanna run away? _

_Do you lock yourself in your room? _

_With the radio on turned up so loud_

_That no one hears you screaming? _

**_I think that it's actually quite amazing. Everybody thinks that I'm so stupid. They think that I don't know anything. But this is what I've got to do. If I act smart, they'll only be more angry at me. My almost daily beatings would only increase. So I must keep up the facade. I must keep up this mask... this mask of stupidity and lies, of pranks and shouts. I really think that I should leave this place, but where would I go? _**

_No you don't know what it's like, _

_When nothing feels alright_

_No you don't know what it's like, _

_To be like me_

Naruto smiled bitterly in reflection as he closed his small diary with a snap and stowed it back into his pouch. He knew what the villagers would do if they realized that he was actually a genius, that he could do things beyond the normal chuunin, probably even the weaker jounin. He knew that they would consider his a threat. After all, he was only 12 years old, almost 13. They would do horrible things... but Naruto understood. They did everything they did out of fright.

_To be hurt, _

_To feel lost, _

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked, when you down_

_To feel like you've been pushed around_

They would do such horrible things...

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you, _

_No you don't know what it's like_

_Welcome to my life. _

Naruto suddenly thought of his team, of Sasuke, and Sakura. Of his sensei, Kakashi. Oh how he wished that he would be noticed like Sasuke. Noticed, but not out of hatred or fear. To be noticed out of reverence and care.

_Do you wanna be somebody else? _

He envisioned Sakura in her house. Her mother asking her about her day, preparing lunch or dinner. Sakura being hugged and kissed by her mother... while he had nothing.

_Are you sick of being so left out? _

_Are you desperate to find something more_

_Before your life is over? _

Then he thought of the other genin. They all had family and friends. They had loving parents. They had a good home, a caring home. The only one who could even remotely relate to him was Sasuke. And even he had the whole village at his feet.

_Are you stuck inside a world you hate? _

_Are you sick of everyone around? _

_With their big fake smiles and stupid lies_

_While deep inside you bleeding? _

_No you don't know what it's like_

_When nothing feels alright, _

_No you don't know what it's like_

_To be like me_

Nobody knew what he went through every day. Nobody knew how painful it was to wake up and know that you were facing another day of torture. Nobody knew... nobody knew what he did to keep his mask up..

_To be hurt_

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked when you down _

_To feel like you've been pushed around_

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like_

_Welcome to my life_

They didn't know how many times he had been lied to. How many times people had hurt him, and had never even had a good reason. "He's a demon," was what they said... that was all he was... a demon.

_No one every lied straight to your face_

_No one ever stabbed you in the back_

_You might think I'm happy _

_But I'm not gonna be okay_

But he was glad that he was not spoiled. He was glad that he had to work hard. It made him who he was. He was glad that he was not given everything on a gilded platter... but he had just wished... he had just wished that someone would genuinely care for him. That someone would ask about _his_day, that someone would hug and kiss _him_. But he knew that it would never happen.

_Everybody always gave you what you wanted, _

_Never had to work, it was always there_

_No you don't know what it's like, _

_What it's like.. _

_To be hurt_

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark _

_To be kicked when you down_

_To feel like you've been pushed around _

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like_

_What it's like_

Suddenly a clock chimed. Midnight. He smiled bitterly. He was 13. It was his birthday, and he was 13. It was his birthday... yet he felt no happiness. He should have been happy. He knew that he should've been. Any regular teen would be jumping for joy. But he wasn't regular. He would never be regular.

He had tried to be happy... he really had! But he just couldn't bring himself to feel happiness. After all, what was there to be happy for? He was a year older. It was great, wasn't it? Another year of torture, hate, and pain had passed. And many more stretched before him.

_To be hurt_

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked when your down_

_To feel like you've been pushed around_

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like _

_Welcome to mylife... _

_Welcome to my life... _

Nobody knew what it was like. And they would never know. Because this was his responsibility. His life. His curse. And he would have to carry it for his entire life. Never resting, never stopping. This was his pain. And he would bear it alone.

_Welcome to my life. _

* * *

**Hey guys! i know that this isn't very good, and it isn't very original... but i just had to try to portry his pain... i feel so sorry for naruto... but i hope that you readers enjoy it! by readers i mean that one person that didn't have anything else to do, so she/he took pity on my ridiculously pathetic story and read it... **

**kisses, **

**korihime**


End file.
